I was thinking this week it has been a year since it hit me how serious my drinking issues were becoming and how much in that year things have changed. It is easy not to see the progression that is made when you first stop and can sometimes be hindered by any failures or slip ups that you have during that time. My worst period was around mid October last year but the realization of how serious this may be was this time last year.
It took being practically pushed through the door of an AA meeting before something hit me that there may be something seriously wrong but I have to admit I really hated it. I went back and back again and built up some sobriety but it didn't quite click with me, here was I still with a job and home and everything else, just that my drinking was getting to be at every opportunity I was alone and able to get away with it.
The time I was taking off work was becoming more frequent and I was also pushing the boundaries of being able to go into work, not through still being under the influence by any means but the fact that I hadn't slept well, was nursing a huge hangover and felt like shit.
I have now got over seven months without any absence related to drinking which is a great basis upon which to build, it is amazing how you just let days and weeks pass buy and then sometimes you look back and think wow, it's like climbing a mountain, the views get better as you go upwards but so does the satisfaction too.
This has been by no means an easy ride but I am so glad I called time on my drinking when I did. As a result of that I got married, been on honeymoon, no longer have letters of debt recovery, don't have any credit cards and for the last few months I have had money in my bank before I next get paid. I even have a small amount in a savings account. It is these steps of progression that make it all worthwhile, if you are just starting out or don't see what a drink free life can offer believe me when I say it is a million times better than anything I had beforehand.
There is still a lot to do and that voice of temptation is never that far away, usually waiting for when I am alone for a long period of time. What I find I have to do is get out to meetings or be around people and when I am left alone for any length of time is when the worst things happen again.
Finally I will never be a person that says "I have got x amount of sobriety" as I do not see this as a contest nor do I have any goals or aspirations. All I want is a life that is happy and contented and that I can wake up each day and just feel ok being me. Taking the drink out of the equation helps that along.
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